So, I got this spam mail today and it was just so ridiculous, I had to share:

Dear Pugsley,

Please your woman by increasing the size and girth of your penis LONGZ will improve your sexual performance.

You will see immediate size gains with LONGZ.

86% of women surveyed said that they would like their partner to be more 'full' sexually. They all responded favorably to questions about the fullness of a partner's erection. 95% of those surveyed wanted more out of their sex lives with their partners. 90% of males were interested in improving their sexual stamina, performance, and the size of their manhood. Are you one of the 90%?

Normally, I don't give this crap a second thought before hitting delete on my bulk mail folder, but lately I've been feeling um, well, a little PISSED OFF in general, so here is how I responded to them:

Dear Longz,

I regret to inform you that I am not one of 90% of males interested in improving my sexual performance and that is because this email address, however you illegally obtained it, belongs to a DOG who was NEUTERED 10 years ago!!! Pugsley does not anticipate needing any penial enahancment products to increase his size or girth. He really just like to pee on trees and dominate his toys from time to time!!!

Now kindly remove me from this list that I never opted into.

Sincerely,
Pugsley