So, I am home recuperating from a medical procedure feeling like s*!t. Laying on the couch hopped up on Percocet, with that feeling of floating outside of my body. I don’t know how anyone can become addicted to this stuff. I would prefer to feel pain over this unnatural sensation of detachment. I probably won’t take another one but it’s too late for now. I’m zoning in and out of sleep from the drugs in my body. Everyone knows I am a lightweight when it comes to medicine and I’m feeling very loopy. In fact I probably shouldn’t be blogging right now, like drunk blogging, it’s just never a good idea. But alas, even in the throws of recovery and narcotic induced hallucinations, I have a story to tell.

I’m almost out again but I hear Pugsley jump down onto the floor making low guttural noises that can only mean one thing. His belly is tight and distended, he is doing circles, and he is trying to force something up, he’s going to vomit. I move off the couch too fast because I get dizzy and bang my shin into the coffee table. I’m groggy but out of habit I head straight for the paper towels and Resolve carpet cleaner. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a long red cylinder shaped blob about 5 inches long. I stand horrified for a minute thinking of what the hell it can be. I’m sure that something inside of him has ruptured and I’m staring looking at a bloody entrail or chunk of his intestine lying on my floor. I try to make sense of it. I know it sounds odd, even for Percocet thoughts but after all the Intestinal Blockage surgeries Pugsley has had, after the Acorn and Beanie Baby incidents, nothing would surprise me. But he looks ok, other than a guilt-ridden look on his face and then I remember about a week ago, when I had to take away his Stuffed Lobster because he was licking and chewing it obsessively. I go to the closet where I hid the lobster from him last week and sure enough, it is missing a leg. He did the same thing to his Octopus once, I think it’s something to do with sea creatures.