Sunday Morning @ the Feed Barn

I’m at the counter sorting through the bins of Pigs Ears, Rawhides, and Chew Sticks. Two teenage boys are watching me curiously from behind the counter. I’m there because I want to get Pugsley a special treat, but I don’t really want to get him a pigs ear because he gets so vicious with them and they are really gross. The selection of ears they have today are all really greasy and have wiry hairs poking out. It makes me think the ears were ripped right off the poor pig, slow roasted for an hour or two, boxed up, and sent out carelessly to market. A dilema. Pugsley's sensitive stomach can’t handle rawhide, he vomits and I’ve never gotten him anything else. Maybe the clerks will be able to help me.

I’m looking for a dog chew that will keep my little Pug occupied for a couple hours, I say.

I pick up a long skinny stick that doesn’t look so gross, how long do you think this will keep him busy for?

The boys start laughing, a year! one of them says...

Great!

I pick up a couple different sticks inspecting them, noticing they each have a different color and texture. I’m examining them closely from one end to the other, holding them up to my face, I even put one up to my nose and smell. It's of the utmost importance that I get just the right chew. The tags are marked Bully Stick 1/5 inch thick, 12 inches long. I start to get excited at my little find. I am sure this will keep Pugsley entertained for hours!!

What is it exactly, I ask the young clerks?

They are still laughing, now poking elbows into each other.

It’s a real beef chew, one of them says...

Ok, I guess I’ll take this one after stroking my final selection up and down making sure I have chosen just the right stick. The one I pick is stout looking and lighter in color.

I notice the boy when touching the Bully Stick will only pick it up from the tag, he isn’t handling the actual chew itself. He rings me up and for some reason which I’m starting to get suspicious of, they are still chuckling under their breath.

$2.79 Please.

I reluctantly hand him a $5.00

Just don’t ever ask anyone here what these really are he says, on the verge of busting out into a full blown laughing fit.

Okay, what are they really....now I have to know!

He can barely contain his laughter any longer and he comes out with it:

Um, it’s a pressed Bulls Penis.

there is a silent pause

The boys start cracking up...

What?? No it is not!!

Yea, it really is.

Please tell me it isn’t!

The Bulls penis is sitting on the counter now and I stare at it realizing what just happened here. I was fondling and sniffing multiple Bulls Penis in front of these 17 year old boys. No wonder they were laughing at me!!

I want my money back! I say and we all start laughing together..

I grab a baked pigs ear instead that is wrapped up in plastic.

I’d like to exchange it for this, I’m too grossed out now to buy it!

I understand (still laughing) Would you like to use our bathroom to wash your hands?

Yes Please!

I wash my hands, grab my baked pigs ear and tear ass out of the parking lot. Driving home I thought, wow....letting Pugsley chew on a Pig's ear was nasty enough....what if I let him eat a Bulls Penis?