That’s it....I’ve had it!!! And I can hold my tongue no longer!

Each morning I awake and check my email to the following subject lines in my inbox:

Are you maddened about the size of your livelyehood?
I've been gloomy with my length lately
Male muscle boosting system
Enlarge your girth and length

And each night when I come home after a long hard day, I open my inbox to find these:

Don't be inadequate anymore!
Don't be the "little guy" in the club
Did she say size doesn’t matter?
Increase the size of your manhood

And these are just a few random selections. I am so SICK of having to sift through the daily rubble of penis spam in order to get to the few emails that I actually WANT to read. It’s truly to the point where I am looking for a needle in a haystack. I wonder how many Blog advertising opportunities I’ve missed? How many emails from readers who think I’m rude because I never responded? How many pugs have I not been able to save because the pug rescue emails got accidentally deleted with all the others because everyday, twice a day, I have to hit Select All and delete page by page in bulk because there are so many man-spams?

Where do they get my email address? I can assure you I am not sitting home every night surfing porn sites, I check the “no” box to any and all offer upsells on webforms that I complete. And I never, repeat never give my email address out to any site that doesn’t have a do not share list in the privacy policy.

I’m totally offended by it and not just from an invasion of privacy standpoint. Not just from an indecency perspective. I’ll tell you why I’m offended by it -- because it’s stupid, illogical, and biological crapola!

What kind of society are we living in where everyday millions of internet users are barraged and bamboozled by the dangerous falsehood that a man can only pleasure a woman properly if his organ is built of gargantuan and epic proportions? These aren’t the prehistoric times, it’s not about the caveman with the biggest club gets the hot cavewoman in the skimpy loin cloth and successfully kicks the dinosaurs ass!

I actually prefer them small. There, I said it. Some women may disagree and that’s fine. But as far as I’m concerned, there is nothing fun or hot about gagging or walking around sore the next day, having to sit with your leg tucked under your ass to avoid any direct pressure on the area. I could be wrong, but I’d venture to guess I’m not the only female who feels this way.

The whole topic made me curious to know more so I did a little research. Here are a couple biological facts for you straight from good old Masters and Johnson. Yep – the ones your parents used to read.

The average male penis in an erect state is 5-7 inches. The average depth of a vagina is a mere 3-4 inches. You do the math. In addition, nearly 90 percent of the vaginal nerve endings reside at the outer one-third area near the opening, and therefore is much more sensitive to touch than the inner two-thirds of the barrel. So basically, in terms of male/female coitus -- anything over 3 inches is a waste – 4 if she’s had babies. It's one thing if a guy is naturally large. The female body was designed to conform to any size, large or small. The point is, large isn't necessary.

My concern is that men and even young boys with email accounts who are being inundatede withg these emails are getting the wrong message. They shouldn’t be popping penis pills, rubbing on fancy creams and lotions, or using weird suction devices to pump up their shaft in some feeble attempt to make it grow and then somehow be able to please their woman better with an extra inch or so.

If the penis spam companies were smart and really wanted to make money and have people open their emails instead of deleting in bulk tirades like myself -- they would invent a pill that would make men more sensitive and intuitive to a woman’s emotional needs and physical sensations. Both at the same time.

Here is what some of those email subject lines should say:

Don’t say or do anything to piss her off before go-time
Why you should kiss her more
The extensive art of foreplay
Spend more time down there
The tongue – your secret weapon!

Furthermore – it has been found that a larger object introduced into the vagina does not increase sexual sensitivity. Sensitivity depends on the contraction of her muscles, not the stretching of them. Therefore, the size of the penis has no direct relationship to the woman's sensitivity. So, here's the bottom line -- women need to be able to squeeze down on a man's penis to increase sexual stimulation and enjoy an orgasm.

The “Phallic fallacy” that these penis spammers would have you believe is that a woman wants a man with a larger penis because a bigger one would stretch her muscles and fill her up, making her feel better during sex? NOT!!

The truth is -- if a guy is too large, it’s actually harder for her to contract down and the orgasm isn’t as good. Many times, it won’t even happen!! Knowing this if I were a guy, I wouldn’t want to do ANYTHING to increase my size!

Put that in your penis pipes and smoke it man spammers!!

Saving the world from penis spammers, one Blog at a time.