So what I haven’t told you yet is that for the last couple weeks, I’ve been in Physical Therapy for this awful pain in my neck that started about a month ago. It got so bad it felt like my head weighed 50 pounds and it was a daily struggle to hold it upright all day without it flopping over. As it turns out, I went to see a Dr. and they said I have a rotated disc in my upper neck vertebrae and as a result, all of the muscles and tendons in my neck have been in constant spasm mode by overworking to compensate for the malalignment. It’s also creating recurring pain in my lower back. The good news is I don’t need surgery. It’s a flare-up of similar issues I had 2 years ago resulting from when I was on bed rest and my liver was poisoned with sulfa drugs that I didn’t know I was allergic to. After being hospitalized for that, I had to undergo 4 grueling months of physical therapy to straighten out my sacroiliac and muscle aches and weakness that settled into my joints from the toxicity and continued to produce fevers for months. I am a bit of a medical misfit.

As for why it’s happening again now, and more specific to my neck this time, they suspect stress, too much exercise too soon, and poor posture from my new workstation. I have an ergonomic chair on order now and all day long am trying to remain aware of my posture, keeping my ears behind my shoulders and retracting instead of refracting my neck. It’s a pain in the neck, literally.

Three nights a week I go to PT now. I have a bit of a crush on my Physical Therapist. He’s Italian and he kind of reminds me of Derek Jeter, only cuter. He has that whole boyish rugged thing going on. So when I first get there, he gives me heat with electrical stimulation on my neck and shoulders. Of course, he has to slip his hands ever so lightly in my shirt to stick on the electrode patches. Next, he wraps me up in a soft fluffy heating pad while the electrical stimulators send painless electro currents to my targeted nerves. He usually sets it to pulse and a mild electrical current generates heat that serves to relieve stiffness, improve mobility, and relieve pain. Then I just lay there and relax, it feels sooooo good, especially after a long day at work feeling like a human Bobble head doll. To top it off, the treatment also stimulates the body's production of endorphins, e.g. natural pain killers. Bonus.

Next I lay down on the table while he sits behind me. He rubs his hands together with some kind of grease, like a Ben gay only it doesn’t smell and he proceeds to give me a deep tissue neck massage that seems to last a good 15 minutes. I swear that this boy, we’ll call him Derek, has Magic Hands. He gently but firmly pulls at the sides of my neck in repeated motions, stretching the muscles and tendons, pulling me closer and closer toward him on the table. He rubs and massages, alternating sides from the tip of my upper spine on the back of my head, all the way down to the sides of my shoulders. The grease stuff gets warmer as he rubs it in. Next, he holds my head up off the table in his two hands so it feels like my head is floating on air and does this side to side thing, trying to gently coax my rotated disc back into alignment, stopping only to hit the pressure point in the back center of my head with his thumb. Then he pulls some more, my hair flowing into his magic hands strand by strand until he finishes me off with some more deep tissue massaging. It’s pure heaven.

After my neck massage, Derek helps me with my exercises. His magic hand pressed onto my chin guides my neck down retracting front and back, almost like a chicken, in just the right motion so I won’t hurt myself. After this, he places a blue medicine ball under my head and I have to do more exercises, 30 on each side. Finally, he has me lay down on this hard board thing that’s only about 5 inches wide but length-wise it goes from my butt all the way up my back. That kind of hurts. Tonight, he had me use an arm bike. This stationary bicycle you sit on and peddle with your arms. I guess it helps align the spine. After my neck stuff, he gets on top of the table, so he’s hovering over me as I’m laying there looking up at him – he takes my leg and pushes it into my body, holding it there for 30 seconds each, one leg at a time. Then he has me flip over onto my stomach and he stretches me from behind. I’m looking forward to Wednesday.