I got the green light two weeks ago to start exercising again and I have to say I haven't felt better in a long time. Part of me wonders if it's just an illusion, because my body has learned to adapt to the pain because I've lived with it so long that any relief feels great. But the P.T. said one solid week with no bone rotation and I could start easing back into the workouts again. That was three weeks ago. Maybe it's what I needed all along because I haven't felt any spasms in the last two days. The longest I've gone since October '06. It seems the more I fall back into my routine the looser the muscles and more limber somehow. Muscles have memory and it's like mine are remembering to go back to their happy place where everything was aligned and working as a stable functioning unit.

I've fallen back in love with my elliptical machine and although I'm probably not supposed to be doing this much this soon, I'm back up to 40 minutes every other day with no arms. My arms have to now swing naturally at my side. I've also added some light weight training back into the mix. I'm starting to feel strong again.

I expect to be back in fighting shape by the end of April....more to come on that..

And now for the dilemma - the head gear that the Dentist swore would be the cure all end all for my problem. Here's what I'm confused about, he diagnosed me with TMJ or TMD right? And I've been waiting for a month to get the appliance but in that months time my neck is feeling better, the spasms are almost gone with no help of a dental appliance. Does that mean I don't have TMJ or TMJ is not the source of my ailments?

I did try an upper mouth splint (they created the wrong splint so I tried it as a temporary aid). I wore it for a total of 3 nights and I swear to you it was the most ungodly uncomfortable piece of apparatus in the world. I tossed and turned and woke every ten minutes throughout the night because it bothered me so much. I drooled on my pillow and ended up taking it out at 4:00AM just so I could get a couple hours sleep.

See, sleep to me is not just sleep, not just a thing we do because our bodies need it. To me sleep is an experience. Each night when my weary body slips into fresh lavender cotton sheets and fluffy down pillows, it's a new adventure every time. The smells, the senses, the dreams, and I don't like anything interrupting that experience. Not a phone call while I'm already in la la land, not a bad dream or a snoring man lying next me and certainly not a plastic mouth piece tearing into my gums. In fact, the only truly acceptable interruption of sleep is a pug in the bed.

It would definitely take some getting used to if absolutely necessary, but here's the thing -- The 3 nights I wore the mouth guard I developed new pains that I never had before. Pain in my teeth, pain in my gums, and really aggravating pain in my jaw and upper neck area. Not where I had the neck pain before, it was lower. Now I think the mouth guard was actually causing me to have TMJ.

I'm scheduled to go pick up the lower mouth splint on Tuesday. But knowing what I know now, I don't think I want to. It's an $800 expense for something that I think will make things worse for me just when I'm beginning to make progress and feel good again. I'm certain if I take it home it will end up sitting on my nightstand and never be used. But how can I not go through with it now? It's not like an item that is returnable, it's custom made just for me but I also don't think they can force me to pay for something that isn't going to help....can they? What would you do if you were me?