After my nephew was circumcised they wheeled him into the nursery where I was waiting. His mom was asleep and dad was out running errands so it was just the two of us.

The nurse unwrapped him from his dressings and she started swathing on lotions and ointments inserted fluids and then suctioned them out while I stood over him protectively asking a million questions.

“Why does his skin look so dry?”

“What is that lotion for?”

“Is it supposed to be that red?”

When she dabbed Vaseline on the little red ring where his foreskin had been he screamed in a way that I never heard a baby scream. It reminded me of a feral cat you hear late at night outside your bedroom window wailing in protest or agony at some sort of adversary.

She assured me he wasn't crying because he was in pain. He was crying because he didn't like being unswaddled, outside of his warm blankies being wiped and touched, rubbed, and siphoned.

Still it unnerved me and upset me all at once.

I reached my hand into the basket offering him my index finger. No sooner did I place it in front of him than he latched on, wrapping all four of his fingers in the tightest little fist he could muster as the nurse continued to work on him.

He had quite the grip for a little man of 3 days old. I think he’s going to be a bruiser. With my free hand I stroked the soft tuft of dark brown hair on the crown of his head and just then he opened his eyes and I saw them for the first time.
*love*

Eventually he calmed down after he was swaddled back up into his blankie and head cap.

Aside from our little bonding experience, the unanticipated caterwauls, and selfless love I already felt for this little soul…..there were two things that struck me as kind of odd in that moment.

First, that it has taken me thirty something years to hold a newborn baby’s hand while he cried and how I’ll likely be embarrassing him for years to come with the retelling of this story.

And second that I’ve somehow managed to go the same length of time without seeing the actual uncut version on an adult male.

I will file number one under the category, “Things to look forward to.”

Number two will be filed under, “Things I’d be okay with never seeing.”

Although I hear there is an increased sensitivity factor for the female. But that’s for another entry, another time.