It was near the end of half time at the New York Rangers game in Madison Square Garden and Matt really had to “take a leak.”

He went darting through the 100 level section, making a mad dash up the aisles, across the rows and over to the men’s room in his blue and white Rangers hoodie.

There he stood at the urinal doing his business when all of the sudden he happened to move the wrong way and out slipped his cell phone from the kangaroo pocket making a loud ker plunk! Directly into the urinal below. Midstream.

He recounts the story for me, blow by blow.

"So first I had to stop doing what I was doing..."

"What you were doing?.....Ew! You mean you peed on your cell phone!!?"

"Shhhhh, keep it down..." he was afraid other people could hear..

"I was in the middle of going..and it was too late. There was a little over lapping there, I had to cut it off..."

"Ewwwwww!"

“Then I started blotting it with wet paper towels, wiping it down.”

“Wait…..you reached in and pulled it out!!?!?! Matt that’s disgusting!”

“It’s a $200.00 phone Lori! What if it was my car keys I’d have to go in after those!”

My germaphobia kicked in full throttle...

“Yeah…. but with car keys you don’t hold them up to your ear or touch your face…”

The next day I was totally skeeved out when I noticed he was talking on the phone. I couldn’t get past the fact that he was holding it to his ear after where it had been.

I brought it up over lunch, presuming he would not still be using the urine soaked device.

“So you bought a new phone already?”

“No! I haven’t gotten one yet I’m still using this one temporarily until I get a new one”

“That is so gross! I bet if you put that thing under a black light bulb you’d see blood, urine, and semen stains all over it!”

“Semen? He piff piffed an arrogant laugh at me, “I doubt any guy was rubbing one out in the men's room at Madison Square Garden!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised...this is New York City...”

I was envisioning those Dateline NBC undercover investigations where they use the black lights in hotel rooms to show you all the human waste and secretions left behind on the bed, wall, and carpets….. I have to imagine a public restroom is even worse.

“Does everything still work?”

“One of the technicians opened it up and saw there was condensation on the inside. I'm able to receive calls but not make them.”

“Ewwwww!"

He asked me to call him later that night but I never did.

Now he’s annoyed with me because I refuse to call or text him until he gets a new phone. I can’t contribute to him touching that thing or having it on his ear anymore times than absolutely necessary knowing what I know.

Of course as gross as it all is, I find it equally funny.

“I’m totally blogging this, think of all the urine covered cell phones we can save!”

The moral of the story is: Kangaroo pockets + cell phones = Not a good plan.