I don’t ask the question because I’m going to read all the different answers and suddenly morph myself into something that I think someone else wants me to be. I’ve never played that game. I recognize it would be a waste of time and wouldn’t work anymore than it would work for me to try to change a guy into something I think he should be that he just isn't and never will be. That game I have played and found out a long time ago, doesn’t work either.

I ask because I think there is an inherent difference in what men say they want or think they want versus what they actually end up with or don't end up with.....and it perplexes me.

I’m not doing any online dating. I've tried it in the past and it didn't work for me at all. It has worked for some people I know and that's great for them but my experience with it was not positive. For one thing I'm into reality and found it all very fake and misleading. But if you read men’s personal ads the things they say they want go something like this:

"I’m looking for a woman who is at a point in her life where she knows exactly what she's looking for and won't settle for less. I don’t think: educated, attractive, family oriented, funny and nurturing are too much to ask for."

"I'm looking for the proverbial "whole package". I feel that looks are important but aren't everything. There are plenty of attractive psychos out there! I want a best friend and a confidant. Someone who can communicate her feelings and who won't run when times get tough."

"I want someone that compliments my life. Two people that are meant to be together should help the other with their weaknesses and support their strengths. A great relationship is based on trust, honesty and respect. I don't feel that a couple has to spend every waking moment with each other nor hardly see each other. There should be time for each other but also alone time."

"Looking for a girl who can dress up for a night on the town but still enjoy kicking back at home watching movies, making dinner together and just hanging out. "

"I am looking for someone who enjoys life. I would love to find a woman who wants to have fun, go out at times, stay in at times, try new things, and spend hours just talking about anything or nothing at all."

"I am looking for a woman who is warm, affectionate, and honest. Someone who is not afraid to open up and communicate how they feel. I am an open book and I don't play games, looking for the same. I am very affectionate, sincere, and loyal. I love to laugh and definitely need someone to laugh with."

Some of the common criteria men say they want in a woman:

Never married
Athletic, toned
Wants kids
Likes pets
Christian
Independent
Kind
Caring
Funny
Earns over 50K per year
Honest
Faithful

I am further perplexed because of all the dating I've done and all the relationships I’ve been in and all the things I hear guys (married and single) claim they want seem to describe me and a lot of females I know. So why then are there still so many single people in the world and why are the divorce rates so high?

We will explore my theories in part 2 of this series.

In the meantime all match.com cheesiness aside, what do you think men really look for in a woman?