Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? The Sausage has been having issues with holding his bladder since I upped his prednisone dosage to help with the inflammation of his tumors. The side effect of course is increased thirst, water intake and urination. But wouldn’t you know, for a dog whose been peeing outside on grass for the last 14 years, he has totally taken to his wee wee pads like a champ and hits them square on every time.

He is such a good boy…minding his manners through all of this.

The other side effect of prednisone is extreme HUNGER. He is hungry and preoccupied with food all the time. When I had “the talk” with the doctor I asked if at this point I can just give him whatever he wants. The answer was a resounding yes. "Let him live it up," he said.

One Christmas many years ago when I mistakenly left a cup of Baileys Irish Cream sitting on the coffee table within pug nose reach, I came into the room to find a drunken euphoric pug. Any time since when I’ve cracked open a bottle, the smell drives him wild. He remembers the smell and the taste and goes absolutely crazy for it. I think it may be his favorite thing on the planet.

So now we have a new nightly routine that consists of a little bowl of vanilla ice cream (his other favorite) topped off with a teaspoon or so of Bailey’s. Oh the joy it gives the little smush just warms my heart all up inside.

Needless to say he still loves life, maybe more now than ever. This is a good thing.....but I have a sick feeling it will also be bad. I mean, most dogs let you know when they’ve had enough. They stop eating, stop playing toys, stop walking, stop enjoying life and that’s how you know when it’s time. The answer is clear. I am afraid this isn’t going to be the case here. Especially now that there is Irish whiskey and filet mignon involved.

Quality of life is not an issue, at least not now. The issue, without getting too graphic and to spare his dignity, is multiple tumors growing in a place that when big enough (and they are growing at a very rapid rate) will interfere with normal bodily functions. I can’t let it get to that point or there would be suffering and toxicity involved. And I won’t have that. Not at all.

We are looking then at a mechanical issue. One that I have no control over and need to be proactive about. The downside is that I am afraid he will still be loving his day to day life, and that will make what I have to do all the harder.

People have questioned me over the years about why I blog and put it all out there.

First they would need to understand that I don’t put all that much out. I have a filter in my head that screens out anything that might offend, come across the wrong way, and hurt me in the long run or someone else that I care about before I hit publish on every entry. That leaves about 5% of my life that I actually write about here and the other 95% that I keep to myself or only share with a close circle of friends.

I can also assure you it’s not all about being narcissistic as we bloggers can tend to be. And it’s not about trying to fill some void of something that is missing. It’s more about wanting to capture moments in time, to have a voice and an interactive sense of community with an external support system that becomes evident in the outpouring of compassion and understanding that I receive on a daily basis. Things that people in your own inner circle may not be able to relate to, but someone in South Africa can. Someone beautiful and colorful who you'd not get the chance to meet otherwise.

It’s about getting an email from a reader in Sandusky Ohio telling you that they are dealing with the same exact thing, how much your words have resonated with them, and how they are looking to you to draw guidance and strength with the same grace and honesty when it’s their time to go through it. Or maybe its a comment from someone who has already gone through it and they are the ones giving you the strength and advice.

That is why.

You’ll have to forgive me for not making every post about the sad things that go on, understanding that I can’t drag myself through that sea of emotions every day (when it is already my reality) and that sometimes the blog serves as an escape from it all. Free therapy if you will.

Bad things happen but life still has to be lived and enjoyed as best we can….or we all might go a little insane......If the Sausage could talk, I am sure he would be the first to tell you that. He tells me every time I look at that sweet face and can see his great lust for life in the twinkle of those big brown eyes..I try to take my cues from him.

I appreciate all of the emails and comments, the prayers, support and kindness. Forgive me if I am unable to respond to them all, but know that it is appreciated. More than I can ever express or do justice to, in words on a blog.