Pugsley: aka, the Sausage.
Lori: Loves Pugs. Writing. Food and Fashion.
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Just when you thought fashion trends couldn't get any worse than skinny jeans, I opened my fall Victoria's Secret catalog and was horrified to see that Harem Pants are all the rage!!
Harem pants are basically a skinny jean on the bottom half of the pants and a big baggy mess up top.
Think MC Hammer, "Can't touch this".
I can promise you this is one fashion trend I will NOT be following.
Let me preface this by saying I have lived very frugally over the past year and have not been to the mall, clothes shopping, or even had so much as one haircut in all that time.
So being that I am gainfully employed again, I thought it was my civic responsibility to head to the mall and do my part in helping to stimulate the economy.
I made a day out of it. On my way down I drove with the windows and sunroof open in perfect pre-fall 72 degrees exquisite weather playing my Michael Jackson Thriller soundtrack the whole way.
I parked in Macy's lot and spent the first 2 hours just poking around there. First in the
Juniors section, then onto Ralph Lauren, Inc., shoes, intimate apparel, Charter Club, Lacoste. What hit me immediately is everywhere I looked on hangers clothes were draped in deep shades of purple. It seems that Plum is the "it" color right now. Fitting.
By the time I left Macy's, I had 2 full bags of work tops: cardigan sweaters, crisp white shirts with sweater vests overlaid, flouncy blouses, tank tops, and button downs. Much to my surprise and delight, plaid flannel is back in style. Go Grunge! I would be totally happy to wear Levi's 501 blues, flannel shirts, and combat boots 24/7 if it were socially acceptable.
Next I headed over to Ann Taylor Loft. I tried on a really cool Plum colored corduroy jacket but in the end I didn't get it because the shoulders were a little too puffy. I don't do puff. I'm more of an understated gal. I walked out with 3 long sleeve shirts, white, black, and blue fitted button down with ¾ sleeves and a pair of brown Marissa fit trouser pants. Yee.
On my way out I walked by Aeropostale and spotted a really cool Plum colored shirt on the window mannequin. The color was awesome and the cut was perfect for me: long sleeve, empire waist not too much detail but just enough...I looked all over the store for it and finally asked this kid where they were. "Oh, we don't have anymore of those."
"Oh too bad, can I buy the one on the mannequin?" No, I'm sorry, we don't do that."
"Excuse me?"
What does he mean they don't "do" that?
So they just leave a shirt in their storefront window advertising an item they no longer carry?
I suspect the boy was just too lazy to change the mannequin's outfit. He looked like he might have just smoked a big fat doobie on his lunch break.
I wasn't happy about it because I really had my mind fixated on that shirt, but I put it behind me and pressed on knowing the best had yet to come.
And there it was across the courtyard - Banana, Banana.
"Oh Banana Republic, how I have missed you while I was away. Please don't ever let us part this long again!"
This is where I did the most stimulating and I had the nicest dressing room boy ever. He totally made up for what the Aeropostale dude was lacking.
Aaron was a psych major with dark brown hair, he was 50% geek 50% cool, and 110% attentive to my needs without swooping in on me like a vulture as all the other store clerks had. The kind of guy I could fall madly in love with had he been about 15 years older and not working at the mall.
Aaron was more than happy to follow me around the store taking clothes out of my hand and setting them up in my dressing room so they were all neatly laid out for me when I got in there, organized by clothes type and I swear by color. He kept knocking on my dressing room door and fetching me different sizes and colors. Loved Aaron.
And love love love my Martin Fit Trouser pants with flared leg. I considered getting 2 pairs but decided to not go overboard. Shirts, long sleeve, short sleeve, ¾ sleeve, sleeveless, sweater, cotton, silk was enough! Most of the stuff I got there was on sale and it was 10% Tuesday.
Next stop - Victoria's Secret, because it's equally as important to have nice undergarments.
Can I just tell you how hard it is for a woman to find a good pair of underwear?
85% of what they throw out there is thongs, and you all know how I feel about thongs. Probably the most uncomfortable garment in the history of textiles.
And if they aren't thongs, they are big high waisted unflattering ugly patterned granny panties.
It's basically granny or tranny. There is no in between.
The only thing vaguely resembling an in between is the bikini brief and it's nearly impossible to find a pair where the strings aren't so thin and tight that they dig into the skin on the side of your hips leaving red marks, or where the front isn't so baggy that you have to pull them up over your tummy, or where the backside isn't all bunched up and saggy, making your ass look like my 19 month old nephew's loaded diaper.....or where they aren't so low in the butt that they expose your crack.
I left with a $45 bra and some smelly lotion.
Last stop Sephora for a couple staple items: Clinique oil free eye makeup remover, Imju Fiberwig mascara (best mascara ever), mini kabuki brush, and because I can never leave Sephora without buying at least one new lipstick...I loved the first one I picked up, the shade immediately jumped out at me. It's called Plum Vertigo.
Kelly commented September 9, 2009 11:13 AM
Harem pants!!@!@ WHy?? they are the ugliest things ever!@
Too funny about the underwear shopping and sooo true!
I am glad you were able to go spend some money on some nice clothes, you deserve it!!!
XOXOXO
Jen commented September 9, 2009 12:05 PM
Ahaha I loved reading this! thanks for entertaining me on hump day!
No harem pants for me.....and not thongs here either!
lex commented September 9, 2009 1:04 PM
Those are nasty pants, I also can't stand those elastic waist knee length puff skirts that you wear right under your boobs. Why? Is boobs, no waist and then legs fashionable? Bleh.
I am very partial to thongs, I don't even notice them lol, VS pink are nice. I don't think you have La Senza in the states but you can order online and I find these ones perfect, they don't move around, they aren't too tight or anything. Hope this isn't too weird! lol
http://www.lasenza.com/eng/products/panties/bikinisbriefs/lace-trimmed-solid-bikini?220601-032
jim commented September 9, 2009 4:30 PM
i'm glad we have boxers...of course you could always go commando!!
Lex commented September 9, 2009 4:49 PM
Oh and the thing about the manneqin? That is just lazy, I used to work retail and if we didn't have the size you wanted and the mannequin did, we stripped it. Customer service isn't what it used to be, I am glad Aaron was awesome :)