It happened driving home the other week. I was wearing a sleeveless top and when I happened to glance out my car window I caught glimpse of a little muscle on my left shoulder protruding ever so slightly over the seat belt strap.

Happy little deltoids are standing tall, much to my surprise!

How exciting that all the hard work I've been doing for the past 2 months is finally starting to show, and baby biceps are beginning to emerge.

I am also loving my home gym, not only the convenience of it but the fact that I am saving $80 a month that I was paying in my old gym membership fees. *Giddy*. Now I can put that $80 towards Plummy expenses AND she gets to plop herself down and watch me work out. Some personal trainer she is....yawning and pouting at me from the floor.....and we won't get into the time she peed on my yoga mat.

Before I always worked lower weight and did higher reps but now I am doing the opposite - working heavier weights and lower reps. I also used to rush through my bicep curls, tricep extensions, and chest presses.... but now I have learned to take my time and do each one carefully and slowly... so there is almost an exaggerated burn you feel. It's made all the difference in toning.

So ladies don't be afraid to increase your weight, it won't make you bulk up and look bigger....that is just an urban myth. Lift as much as you can to feel the burn for as long as you can. Be consistent and you'll see results. That is the formula.

It's a little accomplishment in my world but it serves as big motivation. Now seeing even the smallest definition makes me wonder with persistent effort, what else I can make my body do?

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 12:01 AM permalink Comments (5)

I am a little embarrassed to admit this but.... it was late one night on the pug farm and I was feeling kind of vulnerable. There I was flipping through the channels looking for something.. anything to pull me outside of my own head, away from own internal dialogue.

You know the escapism of which I speak. Don't pretend that you don't.

And then suddenly there it was, it fell out of the clear blue lonesome starry night and appeared in the form of an infomercial, the answer to all of my problems...

The Brazil Butt Lift

Oh those direct marketers know just how to tempt and tease and lure you in, don't they?

There I sat glued, transfixed to the very charismatic Leandro Carvalho promising to reduce, lift, and shape the butt with his unique triangle training method targeted not just to one butt muscle, but all three.

Who even knew there were three butt muscles?

Revolutionary.

No matter what your butt /body type; pear shaped, too big, too flat, too round, not big enough, the kit comes with a custom workout plan designed to fit your booty.

In his 3 DVD box set, Leandro promises tight tushies and supermodel gams. The set even includes meal plans, exercise band, a tape measure to track how many inches you lose from your hips, thighs and butt, even a pencil to test your jiggle factor.

About ½ an hour in I was sold. This would be my next conquest and mission.

I am very goal oriented you see and this one is not much of a commitment. It promises results in just 4 short weeks.

Now I should point out that I don't think my butt is terribly unfortunate, and I have been regularly kicking my own ass (no pun intended) in my new home gym 5x a week.

But the truth is I am getting bored with the same old cardio routine and with regular old squats and lunges.

I need to mix things up anyway... and as Leandro points out, there is always room for a better "Bum Bum".

And if there is anyone who knows butts, it's those thong loving Brazilians.

Instead of paying the $60.00 by ordering via the infomercial though, I got it on eBay for half the price.

I figured the worst thing that can happen is the next time I am stuck in a vegetable like state on the couch looking for a distraction - I can just plug the DVD in and start getting all Brazilian freaky in my own living room and maybe I'll get a better booty at the same time.

The DVD set is en route as I type.

Soon I will be starting the 4 week program and because I am guessing many of you ladies out there are wondering if it really works - I will follow up with an honest review of my progress and let you know if it's worth the money and all the effort.

Dang, I hope it is!

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 12:29 AM permalink Comments (4)

It might be how she whips those Biggest Loser contestants into shape... or it might be the way her right eyebrow is mysteriously always raised about an inch higher that the left.

I'm not sure exactly what it is but something just doesn't seem quite right..

She does have a good stomach though.

Posted by Lori in Fitness , Observations at 8:12 PM permalink Comments (7)

Sometimes I don't realize how freakishly double jointed and hypermobilie I am until I see pictures of myself like this one. Look at my wrist. I don't think it's normal that it bends this way...do you?

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 7:53 AM permalink Comments (3)

Killer Abs Protect Woman in Accident

(May 14) - Peggy Williams' daily routine of crunches and sit-ups sure paid off.
Last month, the British woman was about to take off on a paraglider in Andalusia, Spain, when a gust of wind lifted her up and flipped her over. She was dragged across the rough ground, with her stomach getting pummeled by rocks, according to ABC News.

SWNS.COM

Thanks to her well-toned abs, Peggy Williams escaped serious injury during a paragliding accident in Spain last month, ABC News reported May 12. The 47-year-old was about to take off when a gust of wind flipped her over and dragged her across the rocky ground, pummeling her stomach. "I got a smack in my abdomen, right across it with a big rock," the British woman said.

Can you imagine - if she didn't have a tight stomach her belly would have been ripped to shreds on the rocks. Awesome.

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 12:06 PM permalink Comments (4)

I got the green light two weeks ago to start exercising again and I have to say I haven't felt better in a long time. Part of me wonders if it's just an illusion, because my body has learned to adapt to the pain because I've lived with it so long that any relief feels great. But the P.T. said one solid week with no bone rotation and I could start easing back into the workouts again. That was three weeks ago. Maybe it's what I needed all along because I haven't felt any spasms in the last two days. The longest I've gone since October '06. It seems the more I fall back into my routine the looser the muscles and more limber somehow. Muscles have memory and it's like mine are remembering to go back to their happy place where everything was aligned and working as a stable functioning unit.

I've fallen back in love with my elliptical machine and although I'm probably not supposed to be doing this much this soon, I'm back up to 40 minutes every other day with no arms. My arms have to now swing naturally at my side. I've also added some light weight training back into the mix. I'm starting to feel strong again.

I expect to be back in fighting shape by the end of April....more to come on that..

And now for the dilemma - the head gear that the Dentist swore would be the cure all end all for my problem. Here's what I'm confused about, he diagnosed me with TMJ or TMD right? And I've been waiting for a month to get the appliance but in that months time my neck is feeling better, the spasms are almost gone with no help of a dental appliance. Does that mean I don't have TMJ or TMJ is not the source of my ailments?

I did try an upper mouth splint (they created the wrong splint so I tried it as a temporary aid). I wore it for a total of 3 nights and I swear to you it was the most ungodly uncomfortable piece of apparatus in the world. I tossed and turned and woke every ten minutes throughout the night because it bothered me so much. I drooled on my pillow and ended up taking it out at 4:00AM just so I could get a couple hours sleep.

See, sleep to me is not just sleep, not just a thing we do because our bodies need it. To me sleep is an experience. Each night when my weary body slips into fresh lavender cotton sheets and fluffy down pillows, it's a new adventure every time. The smells, the senses, the dreams, and I don't like anything interrupting that experience. Not a phone call while I'm already in la la land, not a bad dream or a snoring man lying next me and certainly not a plastic mouth piece tearing into my gums. In fact, the only truly acceptable interruption of sleep is a pug in the bed.

It would definitely take some getting used to if absolutely necessary, but here's the thing -- The 3 nights I wore the mouth guard I developed new pains that I never had before. Pain in my teeth, pain in my gums, and really aggravating pain in my jaw and upper neck area. Not where I had the neck pain before, it was lower. Now I think the mouth guard was actually causing me to have TMJ.

I'm scheduled to go pick up the lower mouth splint on Tuesday. But knowing what I know now, I don't think I want to. It's an $800 expense for something that I think will make things worse for me just when I'm beginning to make progress and feel good again. I'm certain if I take it home it will end up sitting on my nightstand and never be used. But how can I not go through with it now? It's not like an item that is returnable, it's custom made just for me but I also don't think they can force me to pay for something that isn't going to help....can they? What would you do if you were me?

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 6:55 PM permalink Comments (6)

So I have to gush for a couple minutes about my new elliptical machine. So far, I’m using it everyday, sometimes twice a day. That’s how much I love it. I’ve used it drunk, bored, with headaches, after long grueling days at work, even with shooting neck pain. All of these hindrances were frequent reasons why I couldn’t run on my treadmill. But all that has changed now. The Elliptical is so smooth and fluid, you can use it under pretty much any kind of physical condition. I think I burned 632 calories the other night after swilling wine. Where it used to take me ½ an hour to go 2 miles on my treadmill, now I can do almost 4 miles on the Elliptical in the same amount of time.

I’ve only been working out with it for 2 weeks and can already see and feel a difference in the muscle tone of my legs. It’s smart too. The LED screen shows you everything you need to know: Time, Distance, Speed, Calories/Hour, Time in Zone, Heart Rate, Heart Rate %, Target Heart Rate, and Level.

It tells you when to slow down and speed up depending on where you are in the pre selected program you’re working: Manual, Cardio, Fat Burn, Interval, Random, Hill, or Beginner.

And then there is the X Mode. At any time you can kick in the Xmode and it’s like having your own personal trainer keeping the workout fresh and exciting. You just push the button in the middle of any program and it will offer eight different challenges. It will tell you to push arms, go in reverse, squat, pull arms, go fast, use lower body only, go slow, or lean back. Sometimes it will tell you to do a combo of 3 things at once for 2 minutes, and then it will tell you a different combo of maneuvers for the next 2 minutes, and so on. Of course it tracks your heart rate and will tell you to slow down or go faster or it will automatically increase or decrease the tension to keep your heart beating at exactly the right beats per minute according to your age and weight. That is probably the best part.

If anybody is in the market for one, my advice is to spend a little more on a gym quality machine. like the Octane. It’s a bit of an investment but if you add up the monthly cost of your gym membership, it will probably pay for itself in no time at all. Also, if you do spend more, it’s likely you’ll be more motivated to use it because you'll want to get your moneys worth. And as my friend Toni pointed out, it’s an investment in your health and too big of an investment personally and financially to not get something that will work long-term and be stable.

The best part is I definitely don’t feel guilty eating all those Christmas cookies this year.

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 9:48 PM permalink Comments (3)

I don’t know about you, but if you are like me then chances are whenever you get into the occasional funk, nothing snaps you out of it faster than making a non necessity, luxury type purchase. It’s almost like you are guilting yourself out of your funk. Like, how can I possibly go on feeling ho hum and blasé’ when I have this brand new shiny toy to play with?

I made one such purchase this week and I must say my outlook is improving by the day.

Say hello to the Octane Q37E.

I’ve wanted an Elliptical cross trainer for about 5 years now, and even more so in the last 3 years with my neck and back issues. The doctors have been telling me that running is probably too hard on my spine, and I should go with a more low impact cardio on the joints. Also, I can afford it now and since I haven't found a house yet, I figured I could start buying the things that I want to put in the house for when I actually move into it. I decided to buy a gym quality machine and this one is the most ergonomic model available on the market today. It holds up to 300 lbs, has wireless heart rate monitor, it’s compact, and BOY is it a smooth ride! It gets delivered this Saturday and I can hardly wait. I am most excited about the Glute Kicker and Arm Blaster programs. It’s the gift that will keep on giving...

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 10:12 PM permalink Comments (4)

I bought a new mountain bike this weekend and hit the Rail Trail upstate to try it out. I forgot how much fun bike riding is and what great exercise. The only problem is I kind of overdid it, like 22 miles on Saturday and now I have a serious ass burn. What can I say, I am a glutton for punishment. I hear the only way to cure saddle sore is to get back on and break it in. I may go riding again afterwork tonight. Oh, I discovered something else too, bike riding makes you hungry! At least I'm not walking bowlegged anymore.

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 7:09 AM permalink

So what I haven’t told you yet is that for the last couple weeks, I’ve been in Physical Therapy for this awful pain in my neck that started about a month ago. It got so bad it felt like my head weighed 50 pounds and it was a daily struggle to hold it upright all day without it flopping over. As it turns out, I went to see a Dr. and they said I have a rotated disc in my upper neck vertebrae and as a result, all of the muscles and tendons in my neck have been in constant spasm mode by overworking to compensate for the malalignment. It’s also creating recurring pain in my lower back. The good news is I don’t need surgery. It’s a flare-up of similar issues I had 2 years ago resulting from when I was on bed rest and my liver was poisoned with sulfa drugs that I didn’t know I was allergic to. After being hospitalized for that, I had to undergo 4 grueling months of physical therapy to straighten out my sacroiliac and muscle aches and weakness that settled into my joints from the toxicity and continued to produce fevers for months. I am a bit of a medical misfit.

As for why it’s happening again now, and more specific to my neck this time, they suspect stress, too much exercise too soon, and poor posture from my new workstation. I have an ergonomic chair on order now and all day long am trying to remain aware of my posture, keeping my ears behind my shoulders and retracting instead of refracting my neck. It’s a pain in the neck, literally.

Three nights a week I go to PT now. I have a bit of a crush on my Physical Therapist. He’s Italian and he kind of reminds me of Derek Jeter, only cuter. He has that whole boyish rugged thing going on. So when I first get there, he gives me heat with electrical stimulation on my neck and shoulders. Of course, he has to slip his hands ever so lightly in my shirt to stick on the electrode patches. Next, he wraps me up in a soft fluffy heating pad while the electrical stimulators send painless electro currents to my targeted nerves. He usually sets it to pulse and a mild electrical current generates heat that serves to relieve stiffness, improve mobility, and relieve pain. Then I just lay there and relax, it feels sooooo good, especially after a long day at work feeling like a human Bobble head doll. To top it off, the treatment also stimulates the body's production of endorphins, e.g. natural pain killers. Bonus.

Next I lay down on the table while he sits behind me. He rubs his hands together with some kind of grease, like a Ben gay only it doesn’t smell and he proceeds to give me a deep tissue neck massage that seems to last a good 15 minutes. I swear that this boy, we’ll call him Derek, has Magic Hands. He gently but firmly pulls at the sides of my neck in repeated motions, stretching the muscles and tendons, pulling me closer and closer toward him on the table. He rubs and massages, alternating sides from the tip of my upper spine on the back of my head, all the way down to the sides of my shoulders. The grease stuff gets warmer as he rubs it in. Next, he holds my head up off the table in his two hands so it feels like my head is floating on air and does this side to side thing, trying to gently coax my rotated disc back into alignment, stopping only to hit the pressure point in the back center of my head with his thumb. Then he pulls some more, my hair flowing into his magic hands strand by strand until he finishes me off with some more deep tissue massaging. It’s pure heaven.

After my neck massage, Derek helps me with my exercises. His magic hand pressed onto my chin guides my neck down retracting front and back, almost like a chicken, in just the right motion so I won’t hurt myself. After this, he places a blue medicine ball under my head and I have to do more exercises, 30 on each side. Finally, he has me lay down on this hard board thing that’s only about 5 inches wide but length-wise it goes from my butt all the way up my back. That kind of hurts. Tonight, he had me use an arm bike. This stationary bicycle you sit on and peddle with your arms. I guess it helps align the spine. After my neck stuff, he gets on top of the table, so he’s hovering over me as I’m laying there looking up at him – he takes my leg and pushes it into my body, holding it there for 30 seconds each, one leg at a time. Then he has me flip over onto my stomach and he stretches me from behind. I’m looking forward to Wednesday.

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 10:24 PM permalink Comments (1)

So day 1 on South Beach was weird. No sugar was ok because I pretty much use Splenda for everything anyway. I didn’t give carbs a second thought all day or notice anything really until dinner when I started feeling woozy while eating my Filet Mignon broiled with a salad. Hmmmm, I started thinking maybe I was just psyching myself out since it’s usually not until a week in that I start to feel off kilter due to the lack-o-carbs and glycemic adjustments. I was going to try to walk it off on the treamill but then I bagged that idea because I started getting this random pain isolated in my lower left leg. Basically I became convinced that I have a blood clot that would travel up my leg, to my heart while I was walking or sleeping and do me in. Being that Pugsley has no opposable thumbs, I'm betting he would not be able to dial 911 for me. I'm sleeping with my leg elevated tonight just to be safe.

Hey, where have all my comments gone?

No sugar tonight in my coffee
No sugar tonight in my tea
No sugar to stand beside me
No sugar to run with me

Da-un-do-dow dow da-un-do-dow
Da-un-do-dow dow un-dow-dow
Da-un-do-dow dow da-un-do-dow
Da-un-do-dow dow...

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 10:20 PM permalink

It's Sunday afternoon and I’m watching the Fifth Element on TNT while I blog and plan and think about my goals for the next couple months. I'm waiting to see the Blue Lady sing “Lucia Di Lammermoor” which is sort of like a techno opera. It’s the only reason I ever watch this movie when it’s on. I think the Blue diva alien lady is way too cool, and her voice is stunning. Plus, she has the stones.

I am someone who only exercises 6 months out of the year. Basically I give up for the winter months and only work out Spring through Fall. I guess I don’t see the point in trying to stay in shape through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Super Bowl, Valentines Day, etc. There are too many delicious food temptations and on-the-go eating to even try.

Winter mode for me is about overindulging in gratuitous sloth. Late nights at the office eating greasy pizza, mornings of everything bagels on the run with cream cheese and gourmet coffee mixed light and sweet. Slump with white pasta, shepherds pie, mac and cheese and other tasty treats on the weekend. I never limit my portions in the winter, I eat as much as I want.

Then around February, I start to form my plan of attack for the upcoming season. I need to get rid of the extra holiday pounds and get back into fighting shape. It’s not all in vain, okay maybe a little vanity but its practical too. See April 15th is not only tax day, it’s also opening day for the fishing season. Some of you may not know that I Fly Fish.

Do you know how hard it is to cross a river navigating your way through rapids and slippery rocks to get to where the good fish are? You have to be nimble and fit. The only way to do it at my size (I’m only 5’3, if that) and not get swept away in the currents is to build muscle and stability in my core. When my abs are strong, I’m able to balance my body against the force of the white water pushing against me.

My Pappy is so cute, he fishes mostly from the shore these days or he brings his easel, paint and canvas along and paints his children fishing in the river where he’s taken us for the last 30 years. Where he fished as a child with his siblings. He keeps a close eye on me especially, from the river banks and cautions, "Don’t go out too far now!! You’re gonna fall in the drink!”" Meanwhile, my brothers are way out almost to the other side.

That only makes me want to go out farther. I guess I’m still the little girl inside whose brothers had more freedom and privileges, like sleepovers and a later curfew. When I would ask why, Pappy’s answer was always the same, “Because they’re boys and you’re a girl, that's why.” I thought that was so unfair. So now, as an adult woman I take my greatest joy in proving that I can do what they do. It drives him crazy; I inch out further and further and hear him sighing with a rue of my rebellion from the shore “Tah-ahhhhhh!!” frustrated at his headstrong daughter. Yea, but then when I hook into a big trout and land him in my net, he beams with pride and rubs it in to my brothers that a girl outfished them.

My plan is a simple one this year. Be strong but lean so I can outfish the boys or at least keep up with them. I find if I write about it, especially in the blogosphere, then it’s documented to the world and I’m accountable. I will be militant in achieving my goals. Because I’m stubborn and disciplined.

Enter South Beach diet phase 1 starting Monday 2/27. The first 2 weeks is no carbs and no sugars. That means no breads, no pastas, no rice, no grains, no starches, no sugars, no fruit, no juice, no sweets. It will be 14 days of meat and vegetables, cheese and nuts. Sausage and bacon in the morning with cottage cheese. Salads with deli meats rolled up and low fat dressings for lunch. Butternut squash, steak, grilled chicken, sausage and peppers, meatballs and cheeseburgers with no bun for dinner.

I’ll be too weak in this phase for any heavy duty lifting or running. So I’ll use the time to gradually build back up my heart rate and stamina. Maybe I’ll walk on the treadmill and do some light lifting a couple times a week, and start in with my abwork. They are pretty well trained at this point, I’ve found it’s true that muscles have memory, so it doesn’t take long for mine to reshape the way I like them. By St. Patty’s day I should be down 5 lbs and kicking ass in the gym again. Maybe I'll burn a new workout cd with the Blue Lady's opera. Do you think I could find it on iTunes?

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 5:24 PM permalink

I've never been one of those type A personalities, like an over achiever go-getter fanatic who has to have everything just so. I don't maintain a spotless house, have a fear of public toilets (although I do have an irrational fear of urinals) or have to wash my hands 40 times to feel clean. But lately I've been developing some of those tendencies. A touch of OCD where I get obsessed with things and can't let them go. I will spend 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon hunting for Four Leaf Clovers until my knees are raw from crawling on the grass. Or a good 45 minutes rummaging through the bargain bin at Walmart, searching for $5.50 DVD's because I am convinced that all the good ones are buried at the bottom. It's the same way with working in my garden, picking crusties out of Pugsley's wrinkles, and hitting the refresh button on my web browser and email programs. The more something eludes me or seems out of my grasp, the more ferocious I become at attaining it.

The worst of these obsessions is my writing. It doesn't matter if I'm working on a book, screenplay, a poem, or a Blog entry. I will write, read, edit, re-read, and re-edit repeatedly until I feel the piece is perfect, but it never is in my mind. There is always a line that just doesn't sound quite right or a word that is escaping me so I have to settle for a similar word but not THE word that would tie the whole sentence or paragraph together into some grander context. I can read something I wrote 6 years ago and I still want to do rewrites or edit a word or two out. I remind myself of a mad scientist. There is often pacing and chain smoking involved. It's reaching new heights with my exercising now. Even though I've been working my ASS off for the last 3 months and I look like this right now:

It's still not enough. I look at myself in the mirror and what I see is big hips and flaws that I want to fix. I don't judge others or even notice any of their imperfections, it is only myself that I'm this tough on. Now, I know you will tell me I'm crazy and I'll take a lot of heat for this post, but I'm not fishing here for any "You look great" comments. I know that I look good but I also know that I can look better. The same way that I know if I keep searching, someday I will find my Four Leaf Clover.

Posted by Lori in Fitness at 10:55 AM permalink