this one goes out to all the people who get rid of their dogs when they decide its no longer convenient to have them in their lives.
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can
get the milk for free. Here's an update for you:
Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire
pig just to get a little sausage.
1. Men are like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like Bananas ..... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .....Weather.....Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ..... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always ½ off.
8. Men are like .....Government Bonds ... They take sooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara ....they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like.....Popcorn .... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .....Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots..... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had
great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and
all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were
killing each other over 25 cents.'
Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'
'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback!' I'm like....Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!!!!!!!!